Perspective and acceptance.

I’ve been thinking a lot about happiness and death. A friend of mine was recently told that he likely has 5 years left to live. Every time I see him, he has a smile on his face, and we joke a lot… he said that the news, at first, hit him hard but, then, he realized he has 5 years to live, and who knows what’ll happen. He seems happy and at ease.

When I was in the coma/delusional just after my brain injury, I hallucinated some sort of entity coming to me, and telling me that I had to choose one of three options.

The first option they called, "Oblivion," the second option they called “Servitude,” and the third was called, “Take a rocketship to the sun.” I asked about oblivion, and got a crystal clear understanding of simply no longer existing. Not transitioning to a different form or energy state, but the utter cessation of existence. It was oddly comforting. Then I asked about servitude, and I had an understanding of being trapped in an unconscious body indefinitely. Just a consciousness trapped. That made me recoil in horror, and sent me spinning off into panicked hallucinations. Once I recovered, I asked what was taking a rocketship to the sun all about. I got no answer, just a vague sense of the unknown.

I picked the rocketship to the sun, although oblivion was tempting. I feel that I started my long recovery immediately after that.